Ronald McHummer

My kids have a couple of the toy Hummers that McDonald's has been giving out. It's all pretty nasty, but they love the cars.

Anyway, you can make your own McDonald's sign at http://www.ronaldmchummer.com/. Hurry, before the corporate lawyers yank it down!

Beautiful

So the title of this entry is "Hot Library Smut."

And that's really what it is! Pure, unadulterated lustful images of...

Well, I won't spoil the surprise.

Enjoy!

I stink...

...like squirrel whiz.

I have to clean my scooter soon. Squirrels have been sneaking into my garage and "marking" my scooter. Today isn't too bad, since I hosed the seat down with Febreeze. Yesterday, even if no one else noticed the smell, I did, and it was driving me to distraction.



And it makes my cats all goofy, too.

Tomato Cure for Cat Hangover

Dateline: Providence

Pablo the cat, seen here (above), tries the new miracle cure for cat hangovers -- tomato fumes -- after an all-night bender at "Hawaiian Nite."

I Feel...

...higher than a kite.

They're doing construction work in my library right now and the fumes are amazing. In the words on one of my cow-orkers (who had to leave due to the stench) "it's like working inside a plastic model airplane."

On a related note, the chickens here love me. They say it's because of my humor, but I know it's because I'm the only one who sees them skritching behind the Xerox machine.

Don't worry, chickens. I won't tell.

http://www.wefeelfine.org/

I feel aardvarks should be granted voting privileges. That's just how I feel.

Other movies I probably won't see

Vegetarian horror film:
        Steaks on a Plate
Vampire horror film:
        Stakes through a Vein
Tailgater horror film:
        Brakes in my Lane
Poets' horror film
        Yates has been Slain
Shipping horror film:
        Crates on a Train
Superman II:
        Dates Lois Lane
Roger Ebert writes:
        Fakes on the Wane
My own personal horror film:
        Aches in the Brain
Okay, all together now, "The snakes in 
Spain fall mainly on the plane."
(Nice work, Julie.  Audrey, I can't hear you.)